This topic today might be a lil sensitive to some so read with an open mind oteh?
In Singapore, Malays are always being branded. Usually, associated with bad stuff. No need for me to list them down. You should know the list by now. I am not ashamed to say, I used to not mix around with Malays either. I dunno why. I just find that our Malays are not motivated enuff and that if I mixed around with them, I would not get far myself.
And I used to not like mixing with Malay girls. I can't stand the bitching around, the typical politics and the endless jealousy and envy they carry around with them.
Yet, I have to say this, Malay girls I salute. Now many of my malay girlfrens are doing well both career wise and family wise. Many, did better than I. Well, I guess my philosophy then was wrong..But the typical bitching around, jealousy and dun want to lose attitude is still there lah. I do my best not to get caught up in such things when there is a "political surge" amongst them. Hehehe. A Chinese girlfren or rather colleague once told me, "I used to not like Malay girls.(For the reasons I have stated earlier.) But you are different, you are not like the typical Malay girls I know." This is not to brag but I am glad I made a difference and changed someone's opinion of Malay girls. Cos she said, Malay girls no matter how modern still hold on to their traditional values and discipline.
That aside, one of the brands Malays used to be labeled with, is that our Malays guys are reject stuff when it comes to NS. You would find most of the guys going to the SCDF are Malays. Wonder huh? They used to do constructions and manial labour work. But I dare say these guys have made a difference while in service in the SCDF. People’s mindset of the SCDF have changed. I guess people are appreciating the SCDF better now. Now, even if a malay guy is posted to the SCDF, I won't say that they are reject stuff. SCDF's work now is as if not more important than other defence departments especially in rescue operations.
Ok, there is an incident at work last week that really upheaved all that I have just written. My work place is largely dominated by men. The number of women here can easily be counted using the fingers on my two hands. SO,being men, they will usually, openly boast about everything and anything under the sun, especially about their sexual encounters. Working here for 6 yrs has made me immune to such talk till last week.
One of the guys was showing off a video he kept in his hp. As usual, they exchange and pass the sexual videos like nobody’s business. What caught my attention was that they were talking about the girl in the video. Her name was M****, an officer with at least a SGT ranking in the SCDF doing sexual acts with the guys in SCDF in their own bunks!!!
How daring is that? How the guys knew her name? Singapore is a very very, very, very tiny lil island. Everyone knows someone who knows everyone else. So they claimed the girl is known to be active in this Malay chatsite that is quite popular in Singapore.
This is something so common nowadays. I wonder why these Malay girls are willing to degrade themselves so? They dun seem to miss a beat with the fact that these videos only show their faces and not the guys. Like a male colleague of mine said, soon the dowry of Malay girls in SG will drop to nothing. Dun these girls think that one day the videos might fall into the hands of their own family members? Is there no longer the sense of shame a Malay girl should feel? I was once naughty too(But not as bold as these girls hor!!), but I know where my limits as a girl, especially a Malay girl stands. Even though I was not as bold as these girls are, till date I am still worried my past would catch up with me and my family. I shudder to think of the consequences of the stupid things I did then would cause me and family.
I can't bear to think of how the girl's family would feel if they were to one day, see the video their daughter had taken. This had only made me think of how the women nowadays seem to have lost their morale values. Stories of how women nowadays snatching people’s husbands, fiancés and wat have yous. The finger no longer points to men alone for it seems the women are also playing a very active role in the moral decline of our society. I shudder to think of the environment my kids will be growing up in.
Wistful for Love
1:20 PM
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I have a story to tell.. I reli cannot keep this in me anymore.. Be forewarned it might be related to those already dead especially to those still very much alive, although I swear I myself could have died of a heart attack during this fiasco!!!
Someone I knew went to Tampines Poly(We shall call her MTT). She was confirmed as pregnant. So the DR asked her where she would like to have her antenatals? She said KK. The Dr said. No, you dun understand, Where do you wanna go? So MTT said KK lah .. the Dr said, I can't give u a referral letter when there is nothing wrong with your pregnancy.SO MTT said, but my previous 2 kids were at KK for their antenatals. The Dr asked what was wrong with your pregnancy then? MTT was frustrated already at this point. Nothing was wrong. Both absolutely normal!Dr even said if u insist so much, you go make your own appt at KK lah, which will defits the purpose of getting a referral letter from Poly to enjoy the subsidised rates from KK.
Cut the story, Dr still refused to give MMT referral letter to KK. So the next day MTT called the Senior Nurse Manager(SNM), she say oh ok .. I will check with the Dr and revert to you.When SNM did call WTT back she said, we cannot give u a referral letter unless there is abnormality with your pregnancy. But if you insist, we will give you, BUT KK will charge u under privatised rates of A class wards!
When MTT related all this to me, I was so angry! They have caused MTT undue stress and also misleading the patients. So I called SNM myself and checked with her what was happening. She said, we can only refer to KK if there is abnormality. Other than that antenatal will be at Poly till about 32 weeks then we refer you to Poly. So I said, why is it other Polys can do it, you can't?It's up to the patient to choose where she wants her antenatal check ups to be not you!
Cutting story short again, THIS IS THE BEST PART OF THE STORY!!! I asked her why your Tampines poly different procedure huh? SNM claims oh mebbe there is a change in procedure and we are not updated. I went, Huh?? What do you mean?
She calmly explained to me the following:
she said in the past PM is Goh Chok Tong..now is Lee Hsien Loong so mebbe change procedure.. !!!!
This got me!! I said What the f*** has changing of PM got to do with poly procedure siak??!!FINE! If u say so, my first child is Goh Chok Tong one(metaphorically speaking hor!!).. my second child is Lee Hsien Loong one!! why still same procedure only yours diff??? Anyways, Lee Hsien Loong is the one ask us to give birth more what!! why the HELL would he make the procedure more difficult for us??
I shall end my story here. Now I know why m2 always grumble about the stupidity of these people!! How absurd can her reasoning be man??!!!!There are lots of others ridiculous answers she gave to my questions. I just dun have the energy to jot all down. Just talking to her depleted me of all my energy. I wonder if this is the standard level of the healthcare personnel employed by Singhealth? Bad, very very bad... a disgrace to the organization I dare say.
Kalau hari hari aku kena ngadap org gini, BP sure go storming high siak!!And for now, I am really dumbfounded at the discovery of such people in our healthcare society. Man! try to imagine them diagnosing you with some life threatening disease. "Oh becos we have just changed PM, your illness is now considered as critical and you will die soon.We will support this death by giving you all the medications you dun need!!" Sekali turn out u only got flu and they gave u cancer medicines eh?? Goodness I can't imagine if tat were to really happen! Gawat!!!!
Wistful for Love
1:34 PM
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Ok! I can't take it anymore!! So I have to be honest and frank here… I need to confess.. the only reasons why I resumed blogging was because…….
I can't MSN or Multiply from work anymore!!!! Uwahhh … so sad…
These two websites were the only thing sustaining me from dying of boredom at work whenever the shipment load was very low and they also keep me from blowing my top whenever the volume was too high and stress was overloading. I would chat with my girl buddies and laff my head off at their antics and various topics we discussed or just surf thru Multiply and just look look see see.. kaypoh here and there..of kaypoh a bit lah ..not much ..So now I can only bloghop here and there even tho there seems to be lesser reason for people to blog nowadays with the existence of so many other froms of blogging like via multiply and other websites.. So it seems like my entries will be quite regular for now till they start to block blogs and stuff..
One thing I find funny, how come the sites to Singapore Pool and soccer reviews and stuff not blocked huh? Something to ponder about isn't it my dear colleagues?
Ok ..ok my main reason for blogging today was not about the above reasons ..that was just a sidetrack my fingers travelled to once they touched the keyboard. So backtracking here, I was laying in bed last nite awaiting for the drowsy effects of the cough med to sink in and I was thinking about my life.
Recently, I read back thru my archives and my faithful ole diary, the one that has been with me since I was not even married.. The pages have turned yellow mind you but it faithfully awaits for me to pick it up once in a while and jot my thoughts downs. I would have thought it dah merajuk cos I concentrated on virtual diaries to type down my thoughts. But it is always there, no matter how long it took for me to have the urge to write something down.
Anyways, as I read thru, I found that the story of my life since the past 10 years, besides the arrival of my two precious sons, has been the same lame story. Nothing new, no improvement nothing. In fact, I felt that my life was deteriorating. Even tho there is an expectation for my life to finally turn around by next year, InsyAllah, I dun feel the eagerness that I should be feeling. No being grateful you may say? Oh no, I am grateful. Cos for those who hear me rant about my lame life almost everyday, you would know about the problems I face everyday. Yes I do complain but I am ever so grateful.
You wanna know why? Cos no matter how bad it seems, I am grateful I have the love of my 2 sons which is overwhelming and is existant each time I step into the house. Both would eagerly come after me, racing for me to pick them up, hug n kiss them. Apit would always reach me first of cos, while lil Aide would crawl like a lipas kudung to beat Abg Apit. Hehe no matter, both would get an equal chance for my hugs and kisses and when I see their beaming faces, I tell myself Alhamdullillah for another day with my boys. I am ever so grateful for the roof over my head that I call my own for which I paid with my own hard earned money. I am grateful for the continuous rezki I have no matter how bad my financial situation is. No matter how I grumble, I am grateful for the days I am living, getting a chance to care for my sick mum. A chance to repay her deeds even tho I know I will never compare to what she has done for me. How many of us will have this chance?
Yet I see people who are ever unsatisfied with their lives. They have a happy family, good financial situation and so many good things going for them. Yet I always hear them grumble about one thing or another about their lives. Why are we ever so unappreciative of what we have? I hear people comparing their lives with others, envious of this person envious of that person when their lives are even so much better than mine. You would say I am, in a way comparing too but for me I take it as a motivation for me to better my life.
I was watching the House of Joy last nite, this lady showed the guy a Singapore dollar coin and asked what it is? He said what’s the big deal? Its just a dollar. Ahhh, said the lady in Singapore it might be a dollar here but it is worth 2 ringgit in Malaysia and might be lesser in another country of higher economical status. The value of something depends on the circumstances surrounding it for it affects how much something will be worth.
This scene keep replaying in my mind. So just think about it, the life you are living now, which you feel is worthless might be of value to someone else who would give anything to be in your shoes. Or if you are so full of yourself and think your life and your world is so perfect and high n mighty, it might be worthless to another person who might not have as much as you do but yet they have more, in terms of happiness and contentment. Measure the dress on your own body and dun act as if you are something you are not. No point telling me oh I am like this I wanna get that when in actual fact, an empty barrel is being drummed repetitiously.
I have to learn to be what I wrote about. So ok, the complaining might not ever stop. Well, just like shitting rite? As long as you keep the shit in, the tension and pain will always be there. Once its out, wahhh so lega rite.. What a way to put it huh?? Hehehe .. ok ok what I meant was that complaining for me is just to vent out my frustrations and stress. But I will strive to improve my life. I resolute to change what I can and to accept what I cannot change (this part I have been doing quite well, putting up with a lot of rubbish in my life) I know where I stand what I can afford. But I wont stoop to being so calculative that every lil penny will be that precious to me. Most of the time, money isn’t everything. This is the most important lesson I was taught.
Fuhhh.. erm sorry I didn’t realize my entry came to be this long..hehehe what to do? That’s me. Once I start writing, the words just flow. And I tot my brain and fingers would have already rusted by now. Hehehe …I better stop for now before this entry gets any longer..
Wistful for Love
12:24 PM
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I know I said I wanna stop blogging but after contemplating, I felt that I shd not bother what you think or feel when you dun care abt my feelings. After all that you made me go thru, I dunno how to make a new life. I am trying my best to make it right. But how can you right something that is obviously wrong?
Will we really have a new start by next year? Will it really turn out ok? I wonder where I get the strength? Will people call me stupid? I just dun know. I am not happy with my life.I never was.
I feel so empty. The reasons why I am still around are because of the 2 diamonds in my life.Haiz.. altho I have been too busy at work hoping I can ease the empitiness in my heart yet it comes back to haunt me the moment I leave the office.
I dunno why but since yesterday, I have this immense, intense feeling building up in me. if I were to show it, sure I will be blamed. Arghhh damn!
Wistful for Love
5:40 PM
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