v o g u e ; unabated

One after another the thunderbolts struck me. One after another I get hit. It hurts yes it really does.I tot I'd get used to it by now but my eyes teared when someone I was rather close to threw a degrading comment at me. Yes it may seem like casual remark but it really hurts. My eyes welled up ..It seemed like an insult to me.

I dun wanna live such a life if given a choice. All I am doing is just trying to survive. You may have had better luck than me. Dun gloat over what you have for it may not be long. For all that you throw at me, you get back double of what you sowed. For me, I am trying to take it in my stride. InsyAllah, one day I will have a taste of a good life too.

For all that have struck me, for all that I have gone thru, I am grateful for what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. For the worst conditions that I am in, there are others in worse conditions.

For all the insults thrown at me, I will take it as a reminder of who my true frens really are in my worst situations. For all who have shunned me, I will have seen the true colours of your friendship. I know I stand not amongst those of you who have a good life. I know my stand... I know my place. Worry not, I shall keep my distance. Fear not, I will not bother you again.

For now, I can only envy you. But jealousy is not the word. Envy is...envy in such a way it will be the motivation for me to better my life.To be better than yours mebbe. At least I still have a husband and loving boys. Boys who love me and know I do not look upon them as a burden. They are my pillar of strength. They are my source of endurance. No matter how tired or stressed I am, I come home to my boys and they lit a smile on my face. For that, I am grateful.

For now, I m waiting patiently waiting for my sunshine. If I am good Allah might just grant my wish a lil earlier eh?? hehe

Wistful for Love
11:28 PM |