Life works in funny ways.I've never dreamt my life would turn out this way. Many things I wished I could do otherwise. I love my friends so much.
Without them, the good ones I mean, I would never have gotten this far in life no matter how small my achievements are compared to my friends. The best friends I had stood by me thru my thick and thin.They have seen the best and the worst of me.Yet today they are still here beside me always concerned for me. They have never looked down on me nor have they made me lose my self respect.They have never made me feel shameful. Yet I am sad I had to go through some unpleasant moments of losing a friend. One who stabbed me behind my back and yet so arrogantly defiant to say sorry. Well, even tho I do not fret the lost of this friendship, I still feel it should not have happened especially with a friend of so long.Well, thats life I guess. You never know who you can actually trust. All of us are born with a face we have to live with all of our lives but no one's stopping us from putting on masks when facing with different people. Life? No I disagree.It's your self respect, character and dignity we are talking about.
When you are a hypocrite, it soon comes to light and one day it will surface and attack you in your own proximity. One day, you will wake up and soon to find all of your friends are gone. When you are in need, no friends will come to aid you. For they will find you as a friend in play but not a friend in need.Play with fire, you get burnt.Once you are burnt, the wound may heal but the scar remains for life.
I know I am not perfect but I do try to be a sincere friend. To my friends, if I seem to be doing something wrong in your eyes, please tell me for I do not want to end up losing a friend. I may be blind to my own downpoints so when you do point it out to me , InsyAllah I will do my best to reflect and change where possible.I do not want to be labelled nor looked upon as a bad friend.
I know people change but to change so drastically and going against all that you believed in before only goes to show how weak you are. How easily you succumb to temptations as if you are quenching a thirst of 10 years. People smile and laff at your antics but I see how they criticize you behind your back and how looked down you are. I can only listen and shrug it off for I am no longer in any position to defend you. I myself no longer know you nor do I acknowledge knowing you anymore.
I now only lead my own life, trying my best to block out anything else besides my two sons. For me as long I dun bother trouble, I hope trouble dun come bothering me,which has not always been the case. I am a changed person now. Preferring to keep mum for if I do not open my mouth, nothing comes out and if nothing comes out, nothing can arise out of what comes out of my mouth. I'm a changed person, one I dun really feel comfortable with but yet, I have to adhere to what is required of me. Its back to the mundane life I lead before but I guess I have to be contented that I do not have to trouble anyone anymore.
Wistful for Love
1:17 PM
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