I m a year older today.. even tho wat i hoped for today didn't happen, it was ok lah.. sigh a tad dissapointed tho ...neways..
sent aide for his immunisation jab this morning. came home to a spread of my fave food, roti kirai, chicken curry, rojak salad and mee tai bak courtesy of my mum.. hehe she even baked me a choc fudge cake complete with a berthday tag n candles.. thanks mum..
Traditionally she would have made me a 2 tier cake made out of pulut kuning wif beef curry n fried vege. But i had told her not to do that cos she is sickly this recent days.didnt wat to bother her. but being the mum she is,she still cooked me a spread. love u mum.
hubby gave me a handphone.. nokia 6681.. thanks hubby ..
and apit wished me happy birthday and gave me a bday kiss..
and thanks to all those who wished me a happy berthday.
you guys shd thank me ok... cos on my bday the govt gave all a present.. the progress package ehehe ..so lame.. hehe crappy me .. here are some pics courtesy of my Nokia6681 ..btw, dun blame the crappy pics on the phone.. blame it on the photographer heheh
Wistful for Love
5:59 PM
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I AM HATING U SO MUCH RITE NOW!!!!
Wistful for Love
5:24 PM
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Life works in funny ways.I've never dreamt my life would turn out this way. Many things I wished I could do otherwise. I love my friends so much.
Without them, the good ones I mean, I would never have gotten this far in life no matter how small my achievements are compared to my friends. The best friends I had stood by me thru my thick and thin.They have seen the best and the worst of me.Yet today they are still here beside me always concerned for me. They have never looked down on me nor have they made me lose my self respect.They have never made me feel shameful. Yet I am sad I had to go through some unpleasant moments of losing a friend. One who stabbed me behind my back and yet so arrogantly defiant to say sorry. Well, even tho I do not fret the lost of this friendship, I still feel it should not have happened especially with a friend of so long.Well, thats life I guess. You never know who you can actually trust. All of us are born with a face we have to live with all of our lives but no one's stopping us from putting on masks when facing with different people. Life? No I disagree.It's your self respect, character and dignity we are talking about.
When you are a hypocrite, it soon comes to light and one day it will surface and attack you in your own proximity. One day, you will wake up and soon to find all of your friends are gone. When you are in need, no friends will come to aid you. For they will find you as a friend in play but not a friend in need.Play with fire, you get burnt.Once you are burnt, the wound may heal but the scar remains for life.
I know I am not perfect but I do try to be a sincere friend. To my friends, if I seem to be doing something wrong in your eyes, please tell me for I do not want to end up losing a friend. I may be blind to my own downpoints so when you do point it out to me , InsyAllah I will do my best to reflect and change where possible.I do not want to be labelled nor looked upon as a bad friend.
I know people change but to change so drastically and going against all that you believed in before only goes to show how weak you are. How easily you succumb to temptations as if you are quenching a thirst of 10 years. People smile and laff at your antics but I see how they criticize you behind your back and how looked down you are. I can only listen and shrug it off for I am no longer in any position to defend you. I myself no longer know you nor do I acknowledge knowing you anymore.
I now only lead my own life, trying my best to block out anything else besides my two sons. For me as long I dun bother trouble, I hope trouble dun come bothering me,which has not always been the case. I am a changed person now. Preferring to keep mum for if I do not open my mouth, nothing comes out and if nothing comes out, nothing can arise out of what comes out of my mouth. I'm a changed person, one I dun really feel comfortable with but yet, I have to adhere to what is required of me. Its back to the mundane life I lead before but I guess I have to be contented that I do not have to trouble anyone anymore.
Wistful for Love
1:17 PM
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A leopard's spots may fade but they will never change. That is what I believe. It is tiring to always be one making an effort. The rainbow appeared only for a while after the rain. The thunderclouds quickly came back to block the sunshine from shining down on me.Is it something I did or did not do enuff? Everything is back to square one. Life is so mundane. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I source, things remain the same. It is as if I did not make an effort at all. All in vain.
I see a shadow lurking behind the trees, waiting to jump out at me when I pass. I seem to know that shadow but yet I cannot confirm his identity. Does not matter, for I have seen such shadows before and it always comes to light. When it does, expect all hell to break loose. Each breakout even greater than before.
This is the calm before the storm for I will not lie down quietly and be stepped and trampled on time and again. I have been hurt before. Hurt too much, I will not take it lying down anymore. If lessons were not learnt before, they will be learnt better. I will make sure of it.
My movements are restricted now as I try to adhere to what is required of me. Yet I see the traffic does not go both ways. It is a one way lane for which I will not go down. I refuse to. Ada pegi ada balik. Understand that? There is no point venturing into a business that you know will not reap profits for I am not running a charitable organization. No idiot will continue a business that keeps getting debits balances.
Now after all that I have written, I know not if you will understand or as before you will misunderstand. If you dun, please dun jump to conclusions. It makes matters worse. Just accept it as it is. Else at least make an effort will you?
Wistful for Love
11:59 AM
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My lil one never fails to make me smile.Esp when I wake up to this every morning... hehe
He especially loves it when his big brother comes over n chats with him.Seeing the two of them chatter away makes me smile.Abg loves kissing adik.Never fail to do so each morning when he wakes up, before n after he goes to school.hehe.Wat a pair these two make.
Wistful for Love
1:56 PM
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I'm missing youHave you ever bothered to realize
how much you mean to me?
I care so much for you inside
and miss you so deeply.
My mind is always curious about
the way things might have been.
As days go by and time goes by,
I look back once again.
All the time I held you in my arms,
I had the whole world right there.
There you were, comforting me with
all of your charms.
Every little kiss from you
was like a dream come true.
This love that I have inside my heart,
it all belonged to you!
It's funny, all those little things
I never thought I'd miss,
Like all those conversations we had,
or the first time we kissed.
I guess that what I'm trying to say,
is I miss and love you more each day!
It hurts me not to see you,
or not to know if you're ok.
I want you to understand
that I loved you from the start.
And I want you to know,
no matter how many miles
we may be apart,
you'll always hold a special place in my heart.
PS This is written by Camar Putih.**Non Blogger*
Touched me deep inside for I'm feeling sentimental today.Was at a shopping ctr while my dear frens shopped when I suddenly missed hubby so much. I felt like hugging n kissing rite there and then.I smsed him, earlier in the Nel train on the way to meet my gfs, how much I loved him and he replied. His words touched me and rite there in the train my tears flowed freely down my cheers.My chest swelled and I felt so sad all of a sudden.Ignoring, the strange looks the other passengers gave me, I kept on reading hubby's sms over n over. And I remembered why I fell in love with him in the first place and how after I met him no other guy,no matter how good looking nor wealthy nor witty had a managed to budge me from loving hubby. Yes hubby may not be the best looking guy around the block, may not be witty nor is he perfect. But he is my hubby and I love him so much. Life isn't easy for us, yet I am happy just being by his side.
On another note,I dunno.. seems like nothing is going rite.The path that I have nvr taken is also unaccessible to me. I'm at a dead end.Yet I must force myself to go thru tat dead end and somehow find a road that no matter what I must take. Sigh..When will the road I choose lead to a life which I have always wanted?At my wits end for I really am lost ... so lost that I just can't make the sunshine after the rain.Will there ever be sunshine in my life?Or will the downpour never stop?
Wistful for Love
11:58 PM
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