Reading
Trina's entry made me realize the truth it wat she says.My life too has not been a bed of roses. Had to go thru many obstacles each more difficult than the other. Each time I face a test, I feel like giving up. Feeling worn out as each day comes. Yet with Allah's grace, I get thru each one. I sometime wonder wat is there in life for me to carry on? But now I realize how good life has actually been to me. I am married to the man I love with a handsome charming son. Expecting another jewel in a few months time. A companion for my darling son.
Baby is doing well. Heard his heartbeat just now during the CTG. Gynae says head is a lil big but we'll see. There's a couple more months to go. It's confirmed I am expecting another boy. khekhe Was shown the genitals clearly just now just so that I can really satisfy myself.Hubby laffed at me. Nevermind lah .. another boy just as what Apit wished for. Next change insyAllah girl lah eh?? heheh..
For now, I can't wait for my huffing puffing machine to come back. To have that puffing session.An also to have the cute lil bottles I wanted for so long.*winks at Trina* Weiiii cepat balik weiiii!!! khekhekhe
Wistful for Love
5:01 PM
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Someone said she believes in Karma.. me?? I believe that what goes around comes around.. I have always believed "Don't do unto others what you dun want others to do unto you." I have not done anything bad to people yet things keep happening to me.. Dah jatuh ditimpa tangga. As if I dun have enuff on my mind, I have to encounter being played out by a close long time fren.
I believe in Allah's Mightiness and also believe retribution does not wait for Kiamat to be sentenced out.
I have been trying my best to be a good fren to all ..yet this is what I get. Yes, I am farking pissed off.. all the stories you have told others not only about me but about your other frens... We know your "lubang" now and let me tell you how very dissapointed we are.Especially me, your so called long term fren.It hurts so deep. If I were to follow my emotions now, I would either call you up,if you were to pick up the phone in the first place, and scold you with all the vulgarities known in all the languages in the world. Or I would meet you and have it out.But considering my present situation,I can't do that. Just being so angry at you, baby has been getting worked up the past few days..
I will let it be for now and dun wanna tok about it anymore. But be forewarned, I have not forgotten neither have I forgiven. It's a small world and the circle of frens you have entertwines closely with mine. So one fine day,no matter how you avoid me, we are bound to meet face to face.Till then you have not seen the wrath of my anger. Till then I shall lay low.
To my other concerned true frens, many thanks for your concern and support. It's a wake up call for me , a tight slap in the face when I was already almost awake. To be shown who my real fren really was. To see the true face behind the mask hidden for 14 years. It is Allah's grace to show me or rather us what our "fren" is capable of. It truly is a blessing in disguise. And now we know saper kena dengan saper kan? Whateva happened, no matter between who was just the icing on the cake. After the dust has settled, we found out what you have been doing behind our backs while smiling to us so sweetly.
Let it be known that when wateva happened, I did not take any sides.Choosing to remain neutral for both are my frens. Yet you accuse me of so many things. And choosing to blame others instead of acknowledging your mistake. You are no longer a small young teen stuck in your school days so wake up and grow up will ya! Be responsible for your actions. For now, you will lose your frens one by one...untill you face up to what you have done.
Wistful for Love
1:12 PM
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A weekend of many events I would say the last one was..First off, families and frens decide to "attack" my humble abode. An event I most welcome ...Topped off the Sunday with a glorious BBQ at
her place. Click the below links for respective pictures..
Lebaran 2005 part IIIBBQ Galore Now on another note, something that made me angry..so angry I ended up with 2 days MC for today and tomorrow.Wat would you do if you found out a close fren whom you 've been frens with since adolescent years stabbed you behind your back yet all the while he puts up a smile in front of you joking and acting like he had done nothing wrong?I have yet to confront you about this my fren but I dun think I will either for the truth is out..It is there staring at me in the face..Telling me wat a fool I've been..
It is not a good thing my fren telling people my life stories.. stories I entrusted my closest frens with..Fabricating the stories making me seem like a bad mother and a weak wife. You see me as a weak person, so Gung HO about work yet timid as a mouse when it comes to my hubby.. Yes, he may not be the perfect hubby,many flaws he has but he is the father of my 2 children and honestly saying, I love him still as I did when I just started to know him. No matter wat he did, he has the key to my heart and I realize now that may have been the reason why I married him in the first place.
Many things I endured and went through for him, not to defend him or because I am weak. But because I love him and it is my responsibility as a wife to do so. To make my marriage work and not leave him in the lurch, struggling to make a living for OUR family.What he has done in the past he has sincerely regretted and changed that part of him. There are still areas in which he has to improve in but it takes time for someone to change. And so do I dare say I am the perfect wife? No I am not my fren..many areas in being a wife I do not excel in... yet I am grateful my hubby puts up with me..
One of the areas being that I am a young mother who is learning by no one's thumbrule but my own. You make me sound like a bad mother to someone I hardly knew.Yes, you see my frequent nites out with frens and you dun see me buying stuff for my son. But did you see the times I burned the midnite oil caring for my sick son? Not having enuff sleep to sew his beddings and curtains? The nites I can't sleep missing him while he's at his Nyais?The pain I went thru to bring him into this life? Did you see the times I forgo my own meals to save money to buy his necessities? To bring him to the doctor?Did you see the times I cried after scolding or beating my son because I wanted him to grow up to be a good person? Did you know all this?
You, my "good fren" dissapoint me. I dun know what I did to you that made you draw such a picture of me..Am I that bad a person? I am not perfect yes I know, but I have always tried my best to be a sincere and good fren.. I may be monetarily poor but I dun go around asking people I hardly know for money as wat you claim. I have never been good with money, never thinking twice to share with my frens even if I have that lil amount left. So far as I remember, you have never contributed anything in my life significant enuff for me to remember. You weren't there in my times of needs. You were not there when I needed a fren.
So, I dun think I have a need for any future communications with you. If for any reason you wish to rebuke what I have written, feel free to do so.I am shocked beyond words about wat I have found out..so shocked that I am so ashamed.. ashamed not of the stories you have been telling people but more ashamed I have been so blind I had a fren like you.
Wistful for Love
5:36 PM
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Finally at 12.14 am 10th Nov 2005 just as she wished, marcie's precious lil princess arrived in this world. Aleysa Saira arrived weighing 2.7kg with rosy cheeks and red lil lips, capturing the hearts of all those who went to visit her..I guess marcie's bed was the most kecohrable one with all of us making so much fuss and awing over the newborn.. Click
here for more pics
So there's only me left with my "watermelon".Next check up on 25th Nov.Sigh and only due Feb next year... seems so near yet so far... uwahhhh
Wistful for Love
11:59 PM
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Dropped by Trina's abode after werk for Hari Raya and also to play middle man for her to become a "Business woman".. also for her to indulge in her lurve for Tupperware heheheAfterwhich freon fetched me and we went shopping at Mustaffa Centre while waiting for news from marcie who was about to deliver anytime..
Wistful for Love
11:59 PM
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Wistful for Love
6:21 PM
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