It was this day 3 years back that you came into my life.You didn't arrive quietly , no not you..you wailed your lungs out! When the nurse put you close to my face, I could smell you and see your beautiful face, amazed at the great gift Allah has bestowed onto me.I teared at the awe of it all. My very firstborn..Rafiqin Afiq has arrived.28th September 2002!!
Your first cry, your first smile.. your first everything made me amazed ..held me in awe..The endless and unconditional love you taught me to give and to receive in return. The lessons I taught you.. The lessons YOU taught me...The frequent hugs and kisses we shared.. The bond we have..
Only Allah knows how I feel as I pen down my thoughts now, tears streaming down my cheeks.. The love I feel for you... You, the apple of my eye, the cure to all my sorrows, the pillar of my strength...
Happy 3rd birthday Rafiqin Afiq,my beloved son. I pray you will grow up to be a good person not only to your family but to people around you.I pray your life will be smooth sailing or at least better than mine. It wont be without failure but it will be full of achievementsb and memories.
Did I tell you yet?? I love you soooooo very much my dear...
Click here for Birthday fotos!
Wistful for Love
12:00 AM
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Too busy...
Too sick.....
Too tired......
Wistful for Love
11:58 AM
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Say hello to Apit's lil brother everybody. Yes it's another boy!! A lil dissapointing for me but hey, at least Apit got his wish for a lil bro. Everytime people asked him whether it's a boy or girl he will confidently say"Boy!"Apit nak baby boy!!" hehehe
But a lil sad news for me. As you know, I have been having ceret beret and vomitting whateva goes down my throat rite? I lost weight becos of this.. and the gynae said baby is underweight and is below average.Ada ke the gynae asked if I was on a diet!! Siao ah .. not preggy dun wanna diet tgh preggy plak aku nk diet.. aniaya nyer kes!!
It worries me cos Apit came out a whopping 3.78kg! I better start stuffing myself with food.Sigh if only I can hold it down.. Pray for me frens will you?Pray for my lil baby boy..For now I am depressed not becos it's a boy but because of the baby's condition.
Wistful for Love
3:57 PM
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I hate my 2nd trimester!! Even tho I am gradually getting some sleep, I hate the constant ceret berets.. the frequent vomitting of everything the went down my throat. Arghhhhh!!!! I am always hungry .. thirsty .. feel like crying ..
Bear with it Nanie..it will soon be over .. I hope..
Long weekend for me cos Monday I am on leave..5th month screening .. We sahll wait and see the results shan't we??
Wistful for Love
1:23 PM
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Have been too tired to update lately. Photos to be uploaded. Will do that later when I have the energy. Neways, here's a longggg summary of my week
Friday, 02 SeptCan't recall at all what I did.Seriously.
Saturday, 03 SeptWent to work.Rushed thru the shipments cos I needed to rush home to fetch Apit before heading down to Simei for Sarah's cukur rambut. Apit was having his afternoon siesta when I got back so seeing I was also rather tired,I too took a nap. Got up and headed down to Simei by 6pm. Got home only at 9pm with bags of delicious food. Thanks Yatie.
Sunday, 04 SeptWoke up only at noon. What bliss I tell ya. It was raining very heavily so I just lazed on the sofa with a mug of hot Milo and a novel while Apit played his fave online games on the lappy.Got hungry by 5pm, so brought Mum, Bibik and Apit out for dinner. They deserved a break too from being cooped up in the house everyday mah. headed down to Giant PP cos Mum wanted to buy a multipurpose pot that was on sale. $19.90 only. Cheap lah.Had dinner at Banquet and went home. I enjoyed this day the most cos the she-devils weren't home and I got to bask in the tranquility of my own home.Something I was deprived of for soooo long.
Monday, 05 SeptMet Yani after work cos we were heading to Mediacorp to watch my cousin Firuz in Anugerah. Pity he didn't make it thru to the next round.Never mind lil cuzz.U got this far, a feat many others might not be able to make. Try again next year ok. Dun give up on your dreams. Your mum and sisters are always supporting you. So are your cousins like me!! hehe..Oh.. ohh another friend finally burst her bubble!! Congrats to Hamida and Anis on the arrival of Amirah Qashrina Magad at 8.17pm!
Tuesday, 06 SeptGot up late. Wasn't feeling very well as I still had a weak bladder. Still vomitting every morning. This is not a pregnancy induced sickness mind you! Still tot of going to work. After waiting for 30 mins without any signs of a cab, I decided, what the heck. So late oreadi might as well I MC lah. Went to RMG Compasspoint,got 1 day MC and went home by 12pm. Ate my meds and took a nap.Woke up @ 3pm, thanks to freon's wake up call. Made plans to bring Apit out as he's been bugging me to take him out.Poor boy must be bored at home since its the hols. Freon fetched me at 4pm. Sorry lah to have made you wait hor.. Perut aku buat hal lagik lah... heheh.Off to Tampines to fetch marcie and we headed down to TMC to visit Hamida. baby was sooo sute. Which newborn isn't huh?Went to town afterwards, fetch Diana G and we finally settled down to dinner at Pizza Hut Centrepoint. Walked a bit there, met up with Dee Dee, had a drink and off we went home. Apit and me fell asleep almost immediately after our shower.We were so tired. It was the most peaceful sleep I ever had in sooooo many monthss...
So there goes my longggg boring entry ...
Last but not least,my condolences to a friend who lost her beloved father early this morning.Semoga Allah memberkati roh nyer and menempatkan nyer dia antara mereka yg Dia kasihi.I feel your lost dear sis,I went thru the same thing. Be strong ok. Your family needs you at this crucial times. Innalillah....
Wistful for Love
11:35 AM
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Here I am 5am in the morning, unable to sleep, try as I might. Too bogged down. Head spinning wildly, feeling like it's gonna crack at any moment. I'm at my wits end. I dun seem to be able to find any roads I can walk down.I know this is not the end yet I feel like its the end of the world. My world that is.
Why are you doing this to me? Just what have I done wrong? Have I not been a good enough person in my life? Why can't you be considerate for me? Have pity on me pleasseeeeee...I cry myself to sleep each nite for the past few nites.
You know what? I really feel like running away. From everything I have ever known.I wanna dissapear from the surface of this earth. Alas, but where can I run to? What else can I do? I am just a sitting duck. Waiting like an idiot to be shot and slaughtered heartlessly.
Ya, you can sit there and pity me all you want. You can console me all you want. Give me all the advise in the world if you please but is it really helping? It still ends up with me facing everything myself,struggling so damned hard.Where would all your pity and advise gotten me? Nowhere but I end up being looked down, pitied and just being a nobody.
I have never asked for much in my life. Just having all my basic needs met and for me and my family to be happy and well. Of course I have dreams but I know how far stretched my dreams are no matter how small they are. Lil things others take for granted, lil luxuries people have. All I asked is to be free from all these problems.
Wistful for Love
4:47 AM
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