v o g u e ; unabated

~It never rains but pours!

I wanted to blog about 3 beautiful human beings I had recently met and got to know but something else cropped up. So I shall put the 3 people on hold first...

My uncle passed away on 21st Feb, Monday. When he was alive, everyone avoided him like plague due to the gravity and taboo of his illness and also his character which I shall not mention. So when he passed away, everyone seemed more relieved rather than sad..

Even his own daughter who was looked after by her grandma since young shed no tears and was emotionless. Only 4 women,inclusive of myself and 4 men attended his funeral from the bathing of the corpse to the burying ceremony. I felt pity for him. It was already such a sad ceremony but to see the small group saddens it even more. I only pray all his sins will be forgiven by Allah and that my uncle had a chance to repent and mend his ways before he passed away.

I took the oppurtunity to visit Abah's grave. Suddenly I was flooded with all the emotions that I had been keeping.. My tears flowed freely as I recited the Fateha for Abah.. I wished things could have been different and my life would not be like it is now...But I know that all this is God's will...Whateva He sent my way only made me stronger...Still, I miss Abah so much and wish so badly he is still around to comfort me.I found it hard to walk away from his grave and had to be pulled away by my relatives..

I then wondered what will happen at my own funeral.Will it be attended by many who will remember me and loved me? Or will nobody attend and feel relieved I'm gone? Was I a good person when I was alive?Have I done enough deeds in this world to secure me in the other world? Its scary.. thinking if it made me restless and I can't sleep the whole night...

Wistful for Love
11:00 AM |