~Do u really know me?~
How well do you know your best friends? Your partner? Your soulmate?
You never know from a glance wat is going on in that person's life.No matter how close you are to him/her, there is bound to be some secret kept hidden deep in his/her heart. Meant to be kept hidden and buried together with them in their grave.
Can you tell? Underneath my cheerful smiling diposition, how badly I am suffering? How much I am crying? How hurt I am and how bad I'm bleeding? Do you know? This excruciating pain I have?Do you even care?
All everyone wants, is for me to put on a cheerful smiling face. For me to be strong and be the pillar of strength for them to lean on. Little do they know, I'm slowly crumbling... bit by bit..little by little, pieces of me are falling off.Yet no one notices..they are happily getting on with their friends and happy watever nots.. no I am not angry nor am I jealous.. I accept that people lead different lives and have different fates...
I am just a face in the crowds..not significant neither do I wanna be.. I dun go for glamourous things nor anything that would catch other peoples' attention..I am not an attention thirsty freak!
Do do I turn to? Who can be my pillar of strength? I am desperate..I am no angel.I have done things I am not proud of. Yet, those are the most valuable lessons life can ever teach me..I grew from those lessons...
I feel so alone... I feel suicidal..Apprehension engulfs me everytime I awake from my sleep ...try as I may to rectify the situation, it jus keeps getting worse... If I am dead, I dun hafta to think anymore ..let them face their own devils! But am I ready to face HIM? To answer to HIM? I know I am not.
All I want, is for my life to be better..for me to be aprreciated.by those who matter to me... I wanna pursue my dreams ... but each time I try, I only get Pyrrhic Victory..sigh..Why do I even try?
Wistful for Love
2:46 PM
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