~Monday Hues~
Busy at werk as per norm on Mondays..but I can't resist changing the definitely not me girlish purplish layout!!Arghhh I can't stand to look at it! So here is my new layout... I like the colours although I do admit that it could do wif a lil more werk.. Well it will have to do for now coz I have lil knowledge on HTML codes and I definitely do not have the patience to rectify every lil details ... so wat you see is wat you'll get from me!!
If you would notice my fwens list is gettting shorter ... not becoz of any reasons besides I'd rather list those I reagrds as blogging fwens rather than aquaintances..Oh ya, Dun mind the titles ... its just metaphorically speaking Ahaks!!Searching for some music to entertain you peeps as you read my blog.. will put it up as soon as I find my song!Ciao!
Wistful for Love
11:48 AM
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Arghhh!! Where my template??!!
Ok OK ! I know my previous post was a few hours back and I proclaimed that I was gonna go to bed and dweam! BUT!! When I previewed my blog, there was ZILCH! My template was GONE!!! I had, in my sleepy state, accidentally erased part of my template and now I have to do it all over again... I so lurved that template ...
Asked freon's opinion and she said I might as well change the whole layout since I will be changing it in a few weeks time.. so ok .. here it is ... still needs some werks though! It's 2.34am in the morning and I'm really worn out. Had intended to start on my curtains today but see how lah! Might not keep my eyes open long enuff !!
Arghhhh !! And I still have my driving to go to this morning!! And after a slack of abt 2 mths!!! God! My instrcutor is gonna scream at me! If you do remember my past post, I was not getting along well wif him!! Have to endure another 1 more week before my test and if I do pass, I dun have to see his face again!!!!
Oooppsss.. wanted to explain the new layout thingy but I guess I got carried away!! Ahaks!! Better get ma shut eyes! Bye!!
Wistful for Love
2:32 AM
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Saturday
Hmmm what happened to Iwebmusic?? Suddenly, I no longer hear my song on my blog!! Uwahhhh and searching for so long!!! Well what to do?? Free things do not last!!Fear not! I will search again for my song!!
Nothing much today. But I had my power sleep .. I woke up at 1.30pm today!! hahaha it's been so long since I get to wake up so late!! Woke up, did the laundry, watched Means Girls on VCD then got ready to go out wif hubby,Afiq and my mum. Went to Geylang to survey some cloth for our Hari Raya clothes and curtains. Yes, I will be sewing my own curtains again this year! Or else hubby will make noise coz he already bought me the sewing machine last year.But he was rather please wif my handiwork heheheh... But I will be making only simple curtains this year ... Will send the cloth to be tailor made. HEheh hopefully the lady will still take our orders since its rather late oready now.. only 3 mths away...
Had our dinner at the new Hjh Maimunah at Joo Chiat.. fOOYOoo Powerrr ... the sambal belacan damn nice man!! dun need any other dishes.. I ate rice wif the sambal only!! heheh Now tummy starting to crank up hehehe ...
Got home at 9pm. Watched some TV wif hubby before he got called to work!! It's his off day today! Never mind lah, when there's money to be earned he'd better go!! Which means more space on the bed for me!!Putting up some fotos on moi fotopages then I'm off to bed. Gotto wake up early tomorrow coz Afiq has school!
By the way, I'm starting my drving again tomorrow.Have my TP test on 2nd August next Monday. Sigh! Hopefully I pass this time! Wonder I should get some "VOODOO" to help me pass? Ahaks! Ya rite! DREAM ON!! If I do pass, it'll be on my own merits!! OK CIAO!! My comfy bed is calling!!
Wistful for Love
11:32 PM
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Tired
Tired! Tired ! Tired! Getting tired of giving the same excuse for not blogging but wat can I do? I am really truly tired!
Nothing much to blog about aniwaes... I'm in a self depression retreat.. seem to have lost count of the times I cried silently in the privacy of my own tears...
Dunno why but each time I wanna blog, sad thots come up and I dun really feel like penning then down.. I want so much to tell u how I feels and wat I'm going thru .. All of a sudden, I just can't find the words to pen them down..
So many things happening to me rite now and so many emotions overflowing .. Why am I suddenly turned to such an emotional roller coaster?? Tat time of the month?? Mebbe... hormones changing ?? mebbe ...preggy? mebbe.. hhahahhahaha keeping U peeps in suspense huh?? No lah I'm not preggy.. for now anywaes ...
I'm not sure of it myself... It will be nice to have another baby ..Afiq would have a playmate .. but I dun mind if no baby yet... Still struggling wif one rite now..
Wistful for Love
1:15 PM
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I believe
It was lurve at first sound when I heard this song on American Idols' Grand Finale between Fantasia and Diana Degarmo. I like Fantasia's version but too bad they dun have it on Iwebmusic. I dunno why but this song gives me the motivation that I need.
Call me an emotional freak but I cried non stop when I heard Fantasia sing this song! Partly because the words are so powerful but I knew that when Fantasia sang this song, it was like the song was written for her...and she sang it from her heart
I dun know much about Fantasia but all I know that she's a single mum to a young girl. I dunno her life history but I gathered that she went through a lot to get to where she is now.I feel her emotions when she sang this song. Her tears ... they affected me so much even now, long after the show has ended!
Each time I hear this song on air, I feel like crying... even now as I type, my emotions are overpowering me while I listen to the song. Memories of events throughout my life seem to pass by in front of me... so many things that I have gone through.. So many obstacles I have overcome..so many more that I'm facing now..
I thank God for giving me the strength to be strong and brave in facing all His test for me... I dun hope to pass wif flying colours.. suffice that I have gone through them successfully.. Although there were the times when I know I did badly and failed miserably, taking many unbeaten paths and wrong turns to get to the rite ones..Then there were the times I did things that I now feel so shameful of,which I will lock in a chest and keep it with me and carry it all the way to my grave, I know I will not be able to face Him when one day, I have to declare to Him wat I did in my life.. Only hope for His mercifulness to pull me through..
Even though my religious knowledge is near to zilch, I'm glad my faith in Him is still strong..I dun declare myself as a good person nor do I proclaim myslef an angel .. I know I have my misgivings ..
So, to my dear families and frens, whom I treasure dearly, and whoever is reading my blog at this present moment, I might not have always been there for you... I may not be a good fren or relation to you as much as I may have wanted to, but please please please realize, I'm only human. If in any situation or incident, I hurt you in any way, be it intentionally or not, I seek your forgiveness... I try soooo very hard to nice to everyone.. I try so very hard to please everybody (although it is insanely impossible) to the extent of ignoring my own needs..
So if in any ocassion I find the need to indulge in myself,my own wants and in the process hurt you, please be magnanimous enuff to spare me that moment...BUT know this; deep inside my heart, I lurve all of you. And I treasure you so much .. coz without all of you, there might not have been so many sweet, bitter and sad memories that I can keep so dear to my heart!Nor would there be so many lesson I would have learnt to equip me with the tools live my life the way I would have wanted to and am living like now!
Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart.
Wistful for Love
11:59 PM
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Too tired today peeps
Got up at 6 am today. Till now, I haven't had any sleep. Just came in to check on moi blog and tag board. Catch up wif ya peeps when I feel better oteh? Muackssss!
Wistful for Love
10:48 PM
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SICK AT HOME
Nothing much to write coz I am sick recuperating at home!After a nap, I can't get back to sleep so decided to scan the fotos that Ju has been
BUGGING me to scan!! So I finally did it...
I was scanning away happily when I came across my Sec 1 fotos! I was rather shocked that they are turning yellow already!! Made me ponder! Whoa! Has it been that long?? It seems like only yesterday I met Ju the rascal!!! Fighting over Bryan Adams wif her..Then there were the Fanatics of NKOTB!! And the fanatics of Sebastian and Rashid!!HAhahahahah!
Liza my second cuzz... who travelled all the way from Yishun to Tampines everyday! Lin the jack of all trades... Zuraidah, one whom I can't stand to be near at that time and is now one of my best fren!!!Hamida, my primary school mate who came to first day of sec school with all buttons up!! TIL THE COLLARR!!!! (heheh cant help it lah Ida, SORRY!!)
Well reality check Nanie!! YESSSS!!! It has been that long!! Almost all of the gerls in my clique are already mothers!!! Sigh!
Hey gerls !! Wanna go back in time and start Secondary One all over again?? Heheheheh !! I would!!!But I'd skip the studying this time and go for having fun all the way!!
Anyway, whenever you wanna go down memory lane, call me! I'd be most willing to accompany for a walk down the lane!
Wistful for Love
8:04 PM
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GLOBAL WARNING TO THE WORLD
Guess wat? I spoke to a veteran chatter earlier and she told me that I have been had by that ANNAEKIN!!This bitch have been borrowing an amount of SGD from her frens and gave all kinds of excuses when asked to return the money!! When she was in Singapore Airlines as a stewardess, she did the same thing too, borrowing from here and there!! Doesn't she have any sense of shame??? My GOD!!!
A guy who used to go out wif her said that she must have run out of money to go clubbing!! What bull shit!! U wanna go enjoy?? Use your own money lah BITCH!!!
The latest news I have is that she will be employed as an air stewardess with Emirates! So those who have frens there BE WARNED !! And warn all your frens too!! Here is her picture!! Spread the word to the world!!
Wistful for Love
8:19 PM
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NANIE oh NANIE! Where ART thou?
Hehehe been no where .. just busy with my weekend getaway at Costa Sands Resorts..
Had loads of fun...been such a long time since all 9 of us siblings gathered with our spouses and kids!!But we brought the house down man!! I was so busy having fun I forgot to take loads of pictures .. hehe always the case ...
I realize that as time goes by, my family of 9 siblings is getting bigger .. with almost all of us married and having kids!! Talk about having kids!! Whoa my brothers are like baby making factories man!! Two more of my SIL are pregnant!!!!(Pokai aku raya tahun ni!!!)
So headcount!!! How many cucus does my mum have now?? Ali has 6 kids, Acit has 5,Yahya has 3 and 1 in the tummy(his last daughter is only 5 months ole and his wife is already 4 months pregnant!!!), Maryah has 3 angels and Harun's wife is expecting their first child!So sum up a total of???? 19 !!!!! Whoa!!! I'd better go for a holiday this Raya!! hehehe so bad!!!
Anywae, Hub and I have already decided to stick to a smaller family .. mebbe stop at two..we have a boy now, if the next one's a girl,it would be perfect! Sigh, its so nice to dream... We only have a son now yet we are finding it so difficult to make ends meet! Everything we give up for our son.. we dun buy clothes anymore,wearing our torn and ragged clothes.mending where possible or spend anything on ourselves.. everything revolves around Afiq...
We wanna give the best to our child but the fact is, can we afford it? I'm not too sure ...we worry everyday about Afiq's future. Worried that we would not be able to provide him with a good life... I dun need my son to have all the luxuries that other kids might have, just a life comfortable enuff so he dun have to be envy of other kids yet a life not too easy that he forgets to be grateful for wat he has ...
Not like some rich daddy's girl!! Should have gone whoring if she needs quick cash!! But I'm sure she's already resorted to that by now!My anger have not subsided yet!Sorry peeps that u hafta read this part !
Wistful for Love
1:38 PM
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At the chalet now
I'm at the chalet now and am using the free internet access at Costa Sands! Thanx a dozen! So glad to find this termnial..
I have so many things to tell u peeps but then I just accessed to check on moi blog and to check whether the BITCH (s I shall now be calling her!!)have transferred OUR money!!
Hey peeps guess wat?? Still zilt money in our account!! BITCHY aint she??
Well,I tried being nice.. I tried giving you chances...I even was a BITCH to you!!But now as wat Dy said, you leave me wif no choice but to announce your name to the world!!
Hey ANNAEKIN!!! You bitch!! When you decide to return our money,inform me so I can stop being so pushy!The term BITCH was made for ya!! YOU BITCH!!
Wistful for Love
2:00 PM
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Why was I such a BITCH
For those of you who know me, you would say I'm a relatively nice person rite? I mean for the occasional headwinds(kepala angin lah) of coz! I try not to trouble you as much as I can be it my financial problems or wateva! Most to most I just need a shoulder to cry on a sympathetic ear or in case of the blog the EYE!
Well my beloved hubby, out of goodwill, on the 27th June lent this WOMAN some money. This WOMAN(a 23 yr old self-proclaimed BITCH)as we shall call her, never really kept in contact with us. She was someone we met on the Internet chat. So my hubby tot since she was desperate enuff to sms someone she barely knows,she must really be sick and sincere. A small loan of $60 which she promised will be returned 2 days later! ( Bear in mind, considering our financial situation, we are in no position to be lending anybody ANY money!Morever, when nobody was able to help us when we were down and out!)
After a week still no news from the WOMAN. She didn't reply my hub's smses neither did she pick up his calls!! And hub didn't tell em about this till this point!BOY! Was I mad!! Man that could be our marketing money for a week or even a can of formula for our son plus a pack of his diapers!!
So then I kept harping at hubby to get the money back form her. She promised day after day and we waited day after day for her to transfer the money to us. Its very dissapointing coz we also had debts to pay and things to buy. That small amount of $60 would go such a longgggg way for us!!
So after another week, I got her no from hubby yesterday and called her! Since she didn't know my number she picked up my call.
8th July, 11am
Me : Hi WOMAN! This is Nanie!
WOMAN:(After few seconds of silence,while she gets her act
together)Oh hi!! Hey Kak I was supposed to transfer the money!Dun worry I still have the acct no!I have a lunch meeting now and will tranfer money later!I was in JB the whole of last week coz a relative passed awayy!(the least she could have done was to reply the sms cant she?And it was already Thursday!! Wat happend on Mon-WED?!)
Me :Pleaseeeeeeeeee do coz we really need the money !
WOMAN:Ok sure I will!
By 4pm, still nothing,so I smsed her.
Me : How long does your lunch take? We need the money. We are waiting for it rite now! ( Hubby's outside waiting for her to trnasfer the money so he can buy some things for tour son!)
WOMAN:I was stuck in the meeting!! I WILL DO IT BY TONITE!!
By 8 pm, still nothing,so vulgarities were starting to come out of me and hub's mouths!! try being in my shoes people!!
8.30pm
Me : Hey WOMAN! We never disturbed you. This our hard earned money yet you are making it seem like we are the ones who are begging you for money! Please understand that we need the money badly!
Not even a reply from her!
10pm
ME : Dun make me do things that I dun wanna do! I dun wanna be a bitch but if you still dun pay me, I will do things that will shame you!
Still no reply siah!So the smsing continued this morning!
9th July, 9.22am
Me : why are u being such a bitch to us? Wat did we do to you?
10.58am
Me : U duna wanna respond?Ok! Dun blame me for being mean!
LO AND BEHOLD!! I got a reply!!
11am
WOMAN : Who is this? This is WOMAN'S cousin. WOMAN is in hospital, She has a high fever!
Me : YA RITE! Any more new ploys?Might as well say she's so she dun have to pay us back back OUR money!
WOMAN :(or her cousin!Allahuallam!) GOD! She's in hospital! she been having fever for 4 week now!I tell her when she wakes up!
Me : Sorry to hear but really sick of hearing her excuses! She's been promising to pay our money for 2 weeks! I am not a bad person but when someone does this to my family, I cant swallow it!
Woman : I understand.
ME : She really in hospital huh??(Of coz with a tone of disbelief!!)Fine then! Gimme her ward and which hospital!
WOMAN : Ward blah blha of blah blah hospital!(When I called the hospital,there no such patient!
ME : Nope ! I gues u dun understand!Wat happened to u WOMAN? U used to be such a nice ?Its sad u turned out to be like this WOMAN. We have major problmes to bt we dun be a bitch to others!!
WOMAN: I'm not WOMAN, I'M ****.
ME : Watever lah.BTW I called the hospital there no such patient!
WOMAN : I am not WOMAN! Stop screaming at me!
Me : I am not screaming at you! So, any more lies?Wats her full name? I checked with the hospital no such person
WOMAN : U should know! Nevermind, you'll know soon enuff
ME : WHY? (At this point, I WAS getting bitchy!Cant help it lah! So fed up oredi!)Gonna put up her pic in the orbituary?
WOMAN : Mebbe!
ME: Well then dun put in the verse where you ask people to halalkan her food and drinks and debts coz I sure as hell will not halalkan!!
After talking to someone, I found out she played the same ploy over someone else!! Hows that??
1237pm.
Me : Hey guess wat?I juz found out that u've been doing this for some time now!Well, I'd better tell everyone to be careful. Gotto go! Gotto post some warnings on some websites!
ME : I'm gonna let all your blogging mates know about you!Dun think that juz becoz I keep a low profile I'm a pushover
GUESS WHO REPLIED??? IT was the almost high fever patient herself!!
12.43:
WOMAN : Eh halo! As much as I would like to return your cash. i hafta get it from my mum who needs it too! I'll do it by tonite latest! Stop pushing me!And blardy hell! I'm sick! Been sick for the past 4 weeks!
ME : Anymore ploys?we have reached the point where we dun believe wat u say anymore! No trust!People who dun keep their promises dun earn it!You are rite though! You are a bitch! Proud of being one? You should be ashamed!!!!
WOMAN : Say wat you want! I guess once you get your money u'll shut up?and I WILL make it happen!by 8pm tonite, check your acct, if you still dun have it, get back to me!
ME : When i get the money, I'll convey my appreciation to ALLAH! Finally my son will get his milk!!
So tats the story!! For those of you who knows me, would you believe I would have done that? You know the kinda life I lead! You know my living conditions and my financial situation! So wat pushed me to be who I am not? I am usually not such a BITCH!!Wat I had well, money IS the root of all evil! Sigh its been a loooonggggg day!!
Wistful for Love
12:43 PM
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Hehehe havent been in the mood to blog but was gatal enuff to insert a phlogger!! hehe sooo hepi!!
Anyways, was talking to Lilac when we met up for dinner the other day and she was saying no mood to blog either ... hmm after a while run out of topics to blog, coz for her, everyday is routine and does the same everyday. Hmm doesnt everyone??
Unless of coz you're one who likes bragging subtlely about wat you do everyday of coz.. like wat u buy or where u went? Most of us are not tat lucky ... I'm a minimalist..as long as my basic needs are met, I'm a hell of a happy mum!! I dun dream of big things, just a simple life yet happy and complete is all I ask for. Even then, that is hard for me to achieve due to lots of factors that I have to overcome.
Anyways, to me, a blog is just like a diary only not so secretive lah!!(obviously since anyone on the net can read your so called diary!!) Its a place for me to pen down(or rather type down) my tots.
I find that thru blogging I also know more about moi frens.. their tots and feelings, things that are sometimes hard for us to express to others over the phone or face to face...Or even just to catch up on wat they are up to if we can't call or meet up tat often due to personal commitments...
So it comes down to; I'm grateful for Blog! Somewhere I can vent out my frustrations and limitless tots!!
Wistful for Love
11:49 AM
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Soccer Mania
At last the Euro cup is over !! Irritating man, to hear the guys at werk toking about it everyday esp when they betted on the no of goals and they missed!!! Wat the f***!! Aiyah but almost immediately after this, the Copa Cup is coming!! Then the Olympics!! Lucky for me, most of the men in my life are not really into soccer!!! Esp my hubby.Like early tis morning, the finals were on and people were shouting vulagrities at 3 am in the morning!!! Idiots!!!
But my late Abah used to be such a soccer maniac!! He can watch a match, any match be it the qualifiers or the finals and his arms and legs will fly all over the place!! Then all the vulgarities in the dictionary,some not even heard of, will come out of his moutth!! Ahaks but he's addiction to soccer is addictive! I use to just sit beside him at the risk of getting hit by his flailing arms just to be entertained by his enthusiasm !! ahaks!!
Well those days are over now... somehow even though I am at peace with his death, I still miss his soccer sessions.. and even more so, I miss my Abah! Its been almost 5yrs now and I still can't believe he's gone... sometimes I find myslef "talking" to him when I'm alone... just like we used to talk openly in his taxi when he sends me to werk every nite. Sigh, I wonder how I will overcome this feeling as though there's a part of myself missing ... yet I know that my Abah will always be in my heart!
Wistful for Love
1:28 PM
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Ahaks Changed my template.. i like this template very much especially the pix of the depressed girl .. somehow reminds me of me!! Still needs a bit of werk though but I dun have time to do it now since I'm just waiting for time to go home from werk here!!
Will touch up on it later at home.See ya..Hey JU!!!! I need your help lah with the tagboard colour!!!
Wistful for Love
7:45 PM
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